Google Translate is quite a godsend. Being able to translate webpages on the fly, learning how to say "Give me your money" in another language, pointing your phone at a bunch of incomprehensible letters on a road sign to figure out it is telling you to "beware of dog" or "trespassers will be shot at" are just some of the countless scenarios that save lives and anxiety.
Ten years ago, or perhaps even longer than that, I recall having to use something called Babelfish when attempting to translate from one language to another. Needless to say it was not that great and is now probably in the graveyard of forgotten URLs.
Actually I just checked and it is still a functioning webpage but the UI is clunky, and the language options are severely limited. So yes, pretty much in its death throes.
The other day I sat down at a cafe near my hostel in Kadıköy, a neighborhood in Istanbul to the east of the Bosphorus, to make some headway at a piece I have been writing about Ramazan (yes I'm still not done with it and decided to write this instead). The owner of the cafe is a seemingly nice, reserved man who does not speak much English. I had met him the night earlier when I decided to indulge myself in some delicious çay while also attempting to work on the aforementioned post. I attempted to strike conversation but the language barrier proved insurmountable so I resorted to enjoying the pleasant night breeze with my glass of çay.
Yesterday I decided to have another crack at that blog post. As I was feeling somewhat spent from all the roaming around and being touristy I decided to stay close to my hostel and recuperate. Sitting down on one of the sidewalk tables at the cafe I asked the guy if I could sit there and use the WiFi but not order anything since I was fasting. It took a few seconds to communicate this but once he understood he told me I was welcome to do so.
So there I was. Minding my own business. Typing away like pusheen on his laptop. At one point the owner asks me something over the counter but the noise from the street washes away his voice and I am unable to tell whether he is speaking in Turkish, or in English with a heavy Turkish accent. I ask him to repeat several times yet each time his voice is drowned out by a passing car, a passing child or just my apparent inability to hear clearly.
Somewhat irate at the inability to communicate with me he signals with his finger telling me to wait. Phone in hand, Google Translate fired up he begins to type away. As I read the subsequent translation I find myself scratching my head.
Are you orphaned?
Waaah? I'm pretty sure that is not what he is asking me since it is utterly random. Also it has happened in the past that my name gets autocorrected to Organ, or even Orphan. Yet this was no autocorrect blunder and he couldn't have mistaken my name to be orphan (which in any case is yetim in Turkish. Note: the word is the same in Urdu as well. Pointless trivia for y'all).
I shake my head and I probably looked quite confused for he looked at me inquisitively, scratched his bearded chin and then asked the guy sitting in front of me something. The guy also shook his head.
The owner tried once more, typing away until the following was glaring at me from the screen:
U bi interested
I didn't need a question mark to ascertain I was being propositioned for gay sex. Over Google Translate. Yet, for a moment I sat there staring at the screen wondering if something was lost in translation. The sentence was quite self explanatory however.
As I shook my head and responded in the negative he walked off leaving me somewhat bewildered by the forwardness and absurdity of the situation. I suppose there wasn't a harm in checking with me. But at least I can tick off having been propositioned over Google Translate. O' the wonders of technology!
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Like driftwood carried along by waves on the vast tapestry of the ocean, we bob to and fro, sometimes finding ourselves in the past, and at other moments in the present