Our daily life runs along a certain course. Most of us have a particular rhythm and cadence in our lives with regards to what we do during the day. And it typically is a repetitive pattern that we carry out day in and day out - one of the reasons why machine learning algorithms are able to ‘predict’ our behavior: we run on tracks thay may be unique to us, and are developed from our own agency, but can still be pegged as deterministic.
Which is also why we so easy fall into the trappings of daily life, unflinchingly moving along these b(l)inding tracks that dictate how we interact with, and react to, the world. This isn’t necessarily problematic for in order to live life we need to base our actions on certain assumptions, otherwise the questioning would never cease and would arrest our ability to ‘live’.
Imagine having to question everyday why the bus you take to work always runs on a set route through the city. Or why certain roads get repaved, while others do not? Or how come seasonal fruits are available at the grocery store year round, even though they are (as the qualifer would imply) ‘seasonal’? Or why there are people rummaging through trash bins? Or why we need to work from 9-5, 5 days a week? Or why we need that mortgage, a baby, a relationship? The list can, and does, stretch to infinity.
We learn to navigate these endless questions over the course of our life. As children we incessantly ask questions; perhaps sounding like screechingly annoying broken records to the adults in our lives. But as time wears on the questioning is dulled down as our interests and curiosities become more defined (and potentially limited), where we end up seeking answers only for things that matter to us. As time becomes more and more meager due to the plethora of information (and noise) we are being bombarded by, the range of dopamine-inducing distractions that divert our attention, and the unreasonable, unsustainable, and exploitative ‘productivity’ expectations of the unfettered capitalist economy, we find ourselves struggling to even understand and seek answers for the things that matter to us. The rest, unsuprisingly, ends up on the wayside, where we end up forming opinions through what we hear from others; essentially espousing a normative perspective that is regurgitated by society.
Class and racial privilege and power define how those benefitting from the status quo relate with these perspectives: inherently the dominant group or the ones with power are the ones who end up constructing the narrative and norms of society. Which also means those narratives are inherently biased towards a particular group of people, and marginalized communities end up not having the power to compete with the mainstream perspectives that pervade society.
In order to reflect and ponder on the status quo we need to be able to step off our b(l)inding tracks. We need to break away from the repetitive drone of our lives in order to even be able to hear the questions that might just be lingering beneath the scintillating surface of our consciousness. And be still.
But stillness is a state of being that is not really appreciated by contemporary society. We are so attuned to being preoccupied, being ‘productive’, and having a ‘growth’ mindset that we have lost the ability to slow down, be silent, and be with ourselves. We fear boredom and not being productive, labeling it as ‘procrastination’, and figuratively comparing it with death.
WIth the arise of the pandemic we found ourselves at a moment in history where were being forced to take stalk of our unsustainable ways of living, and inadvertently, if not intentionally find stillness. But you may recall the millennial-Gen Z pronouncement that was floating around during the beginning of the global lockdown (in 2020) that one should come out of lockdown having learnt a new language/skill, or become a better version of one’s self. Once again the need to be ‘on the go’ and the self improvement complex reared its ugly head into action, where tangible and measurable ‘improvement’ is what defines success and betterment.
But as the stark (and tragic) reality of lockdown, and the pandemic, began to settle in everyone’s minds the tone shifted from that of ‘productivity’ to that of ‘resilience’ and ‘acceptance’.
Perhaps people started recognizing it was not simple to stay positive when dealing with a once-in-a-lifetime event, where death, sorrow, and uncertainty were front-and-center for all of us, and compounded by the lack of socio-physical interactions with friends and loved ones. The novelty and excitement of the initial days and possibilities of the lockdown eventually faded away leaving one with the sober realization of the uncertainty, and the prolonged solitude, we would have to bear due to the pandemic. It led people to introspect, to imagine a world that was slower, to question their relationship with work, to reexplore and revivify past connections, while also finding other ways to relate with the world.
Some people started to focus on appreciating the smaller things, while others began to reconnect with themselves, picking up long lost hobbies that they had not been finding (and making) time for due to the everincreasing demands of the workplace. Some found the time to reflect about themselves and realized social interactions were quite important for their well-being, while others who believed themselves to be extroverts realized they actually were not, and hence were given a chance to recalibrate themselves.
To explore a varying degree of experiences and realizations people had during the lockdown go here.
A common thread for most was the act of slowing down, of taking a step back in order to reflect on themselves and their behaviors, or on the world around them. Many discovered parts of themselves they were otherwise unaware of, or rediscovered parts that had been lost to busyness. Or business?
Such chatter in our minds distracts us from truly knowing ourselves, as well as getting past our egocentrism. When we find stillness within are we able to ask ourselves the questions that actually define us: what do I want from life (or in other words what matters to me), and how do I wish to live?
This inherently requires making time and space for ourselves to be in solitude.
It grants us the opportunity to embody stillness and quietude, necessary ingredients for ponderous reflection and contemplation; an act otherwise stymied by the noise of occupying urban spaces and being stuck in daily routines.
But the idea of solitude can seem daunting to people. Some might even have a negative association with the word, equating it to the experience of loneliness. Solitude, however, is not that.
Solitude is a state of being where one is physically alone (but also not necessarily the case all the time) and in complete harmony and contentedness with themselves. It’s when our subconscious thoughts find space to emerge onto the foreground of our consciousness. The thoughts that get repressed and suppressed by our daily routines finally roam free for us to engage and explore, allowing us the chance to become more in concord with what resides within us, what we feel, and what we aspire towards.
This also does not require a radical relinquishing of one’s association with society and letting go of everything to live an ascetic life in a cabin in the woods, up on a mountain, or in a monastery. Life is never binary; there are many ways to live that incorporate stillness into our daily lives as well.
It can and will look differently for different people. It could be a walk in the park. A jog or run along the waterfront. Reading a book in a cafe. Watching a movie by one’s self. Practicing music. Painting. Cooking. Cleaning dishes. Praying/meditating. The degree and intensity with which one wishes to be in solitude will depend on the person and what they are aiming to achieve. But generally speaking, having regular moments of solitude in one’s life will result in greater mental and spiritual clarity and calmness, more harmony with one’s self and the world around them.
Meditating regularly can also provide such a space for solitude and connecting with one’s self, and inherently with the Divine. This is another form of attaining stillness, that can help us break the repetition of daily life. Namaz/salah, yoga, zazen, pranayama, hymns, chants, and other similar forms of meditation are in essence moments of escaping one’s worldly, material being in order to still the mind and reflect on (and experience) one’s relationship with the Divine.
This also explains when we step away from our urban settings and embark on a journey into the serenity of nature it often elicits an awe that pervades the essence of our being. We become immersed in nature - through all our senses - and are transported from the world without to the world within ourselves. It is a severance from the way we typically live and also acts as a reminder that the world, and life, is greater than our egocentric and individualistic perspectives.
We have to unlearn, and relearn things about ourselves, the world around us, and the norms we take for granted. Through solitude and stillness we can begin to unravel these by becoming more attuned with our true feelings and desires, and hence becoming more attuned with the world around us.
Further Readings
Lusinski, N. (2020, May 2) 20 People Share the Most Important Thing They've Learned About Themselves in Quarantine
https://www.insider.com/people-share-what-theyve-learned-about-themselves-in-quarantine-2020-4
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